It’s been a while.
I haven’t really blogged since I started working for the government a) because I’ve been considerably busier, and b) it’s probably best not to have every single political opinion I’ve ever had, particularly in my early twenties, publicly accessible for all to see. I cringe when I see a lot of these, and I’ve deleted most of the trash and left the ones that I remain proud of. Some of these were written when I was in a pretty dark place, personally, and in particular a few bring back visceral memories of manic episodes. So if they haven’t aged well, I do apologize.
Now I’m wandering around the dusty, empty rooms here, and brushing the cobwebs out of the CMS, and thinking about what to do with this thing now. I’m going to rejig this website in the near future, as my novel, The Black Hunger, is inching closer to publication every day, and this will probably become a standard writer’s website when that happens. I think I will start blogging again, and sometimes there will be thoughts visible here, but I do expect that they’ll be more targeted towards things I’m passionate about that aren’t politics. History, literature, culture in general, etc.
I no longer feel compelled to virtue signal compulsively, to prove that I am not like the bad ones, and I no longer arrogantly assume that my opinions about how the world should be run are of any interest to anyone, or that I have any better ideas on the subject. So personal growth, I guess. Politics is increasingly a private concern for me now, particularly as I roll up my sleeves and actually get down to the hard work of trying to make change in Canada’s relationship with Indigenous peoples as a Treaty Negotiator. I’ve given up the right to lob bombs from the outside, and to demand the perfect. Now I need to do the best I can with the world we have, and I learn more and more every day about the complexity, nuance, and shades of grey when it comes to reconciliation. I’m humbled by what I’ve learned, and no longer feel that I have the right to be judgmental or sanctimonious on the subject.
If you’re here for the first time, I want to direct you to some of my published fiction in other places.
The first story I ever had published was this one. Relapse/Grindr was a deeply personal piece, and one of my first forays into short fiction after getting serious about my craft as a fiction writer. In places it makes me cringe, now, but given where I was at at the time, emotionally and spiritually, I remain proud of it. The poor, nameless protagonist was dealing with a lot.
The second, and probably the best thing I’ve done so far, was Famous Blue, which placed third in the Toronto Star Short Story Contest in 2019. Annoyingly, I’d already spent the first prize money in my head, but it was still an honour to be in contention. An ode to friendship and to the decadence of youth, it was a healing piece to write, and helped me transmute a lot of suffering into something worthwhile, so it will always be an important piece to me. I’m also currently working on turning this into a novel, so watch this space.
The third, coming soon, is Hellulandsaga, which will be coming out in the Copperfield Review on May 3rd, so watch this space! This one is much more just a bit of fun, and is a little slice of historical horror set in the era of Viking colonization of the ‘New World.’ I’ll link it here when it comes out, and I hope you enjoy it!
Looking forward to getting back down to business here. Be well, wherever you are.